Why Parents Are Always STRESSED!!!!! 2

Daily decisions made by couples

Pretty Girls Wants to Marry Rich Man Part 2

Amazing reply:

Dear Ms. Pretty,

I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls
out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to
analyse your situation as a professional investor. My annual income is
more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone
believes that I'm not wasting time here. From the standpoint of a
business person, it is a bad decision to marry you.. The answer is very
simple, so let me explain.

Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of
'beauty' and 'money': Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it,
fair and square. However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will
fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is,
my income might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier
year after year. Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an
appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It's not just
normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only
asset, your value will be much worried 10 years later.

By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating
with you is also a 'trading position'. If the trade value dropped we will
sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same goes
with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in
order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value
will be sold or 'leased'. Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a
fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that
you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you
could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income.
This has better chance than finding a rich fool.


Hope this reply helps.. If you are interested in 'leasing' services, do
contact me...

signed,
CEO

Pretty Girls Wants to Marry Rich Man Part 1

A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:

Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?


I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here. I'm 25 this year.
I'm very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with
$500k annual salary or above. You might say that I'm greedy, but an
annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York . My
requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income
of $500k annual salary? Are you all married? I wanted to

ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you? Among those I've
dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my
upper limit. If someone is going to move into high cost residential area
on the west of New York City Garden ( ? ) , $250k annual income is not
enough.

I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:

1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and
addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)

2) Which age group should I target?

3) Why most wives of the riches is only average-looking? I've met a few
girls who doesn't have looks and are not interesting, but they are able
to marry rich guys

4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your
girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)


Ms. Pretty

Jokes Of The Day

> > >
> " KAN
> PEI
> > > "
> > >
> > > Once there was a Chinese wedding
> > > dinner. The dinner occupied only
> > > half the restaurant. The other half was occupied
> > > by some
> > > American tourists.
> > >
> > >
> > > As the wedding Chinese couples hop from table to
> > >table to
> > > toast the guests, the cheers of " KAN PEI ..
> > >"
> > > (happy & joyous drinking) gets
> > > louder and louder.
> > >
> > >
> > > One American gets more and more irritated as the
> > > couple get
> > > closer to him. "
> > > KAN PEI ...!" " KAN .... PEI
> > > "....!!!" The cheers continued.
> > >
> > >
> > > Finally, the irritated American couldn't take
> > >it
> > > anymore. He stood up
> > >
> > > on his chair and shouted. "OK! OK! I
> > >HEAR YOU. IF
> > > YOU CAN'T PAY, THEN LET ME PAY FOR
> > >YOU...!"
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Indon, Bangla & Malaysian
>
> > >
> > >
> > > An Indonesian, a Bangladeshi and a Malaysian
> > > Chinese are in
> > > a
> > > bar one night having a beer. The Indonesian
> > > finishes
> > >
> > > his beer and suddenly throws his glass in the
> > > air,
> > > pulls out a gun and shoots the glass to pieces.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > He brags, "In Jakarta our glasses are so
> > > cheap that
> > > we
> > > don't need to drink from the same one
> > > twice."
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > The Bangladeshi obviously impressed by this
> > > drinks
> > > his
> > > beer, throws his glass into the air, pulls out
> > > his gun
> > > and shoots the glass to pieces.
> > >
> > >
> > > He says, "In Dhaka we have so much sand to
> > > make the
> > >
> > > glasses that we don't need to drink out of
> > > the
> > > same
> > >
> > > glass twice either."
> > >
> > > The Malaysian, cool as a cucumber, finishes his
> > > drink,
> > >
> > > throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun
> > > and
> > > shoots the Indonesian & the Bangladeshi.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > He says "Nyamah! In KL we have so many Indon
> > > and Bangla that
> > > we don't need to drink with the same ones
> > > twice."

During the hard times 3/3

During the hard times 2/3

During the hard times 1/3

今非昔比‏ 2/2

今非昔比‏ 1/2

你知道雪人夏天在做什麼?

不然你以為夏天那來那麼多ice cream ............................

媽媽的毛&爸爸的‏蛋

媽媽的毛



還在讀三年級的妹妹是個左撇子，一天老師回家前出了題作文題目，作為同學的家庭功課，圓圓急急忙忙的抄下題目就收拾書包回家了。

回家後打開連絡簿，才看到作文題是 [ 媽媽的毛 ] ，這下可難倒這個三年級的小女生了 ，妹妹絞盡腦汁想了半天，才寫了兩行：『媽媽的毛，最長的是頭髮，最短的是睫毛』，就怎麼也寫不下去了，於是跑去問媽媽。

媽媽一看到題目是寫關於她的毛著實嚇了一跳，於是媽媽打電話去和老師理論，問老師怎麼出這種題目。

媽媽：『老師啊，你有沒有搞錯，孩子還這麼小怎麼能出這種題目呢？』

老師：『這作文題目有什麼問題嗎？我覺得小孩子越早寫這種題目越好。』

﹝老師覺得這樣可以讓小朋友早一點知道感恩。﹞

媽媽：『有沒有搞錯啊？這老師是怎麼當的？』

老師心想，是不是媽媽不好意思在小孩面前自己誇讚自己，才不好意思寫？

於是說：『要是真的不會寫，也可以問問爸爸啊，參考一下他的意見。』

這時媽媽真的氣瘋了，生氣的罵：『我說老師啊！你再怎麼樣也不能出媽媽的毛這種題目嘛！』

老師嚇了一跳：我出的題目是 媽媽的手 耶！









爸爸的蛋


老師讓學生用「皺紋」一詞造句，

小強寫道︰我爸爸的蛋有很多皺紋。

老師寫給家長評語︰

〝不要把什麼地方都給小孩看，影響不好。〞

爸爸回覆︰

………
………
………
………
………
………
………
………
………
………
………
………
………


這孩子真粗心，少寫了一個「臉」字。

讓你笑一整天....

1
有一只小白兔快乐地奔跑在森林中,　
在路上它碰到一只正在卷大麻的长颈鹿,　
小白兔对长颈鹿说:“长颈鹿长颈鹿,你为什么要做伤害自己的事呢?　
看看这片森林多么美好,让我们一起在大自然中奔跑吧!”　
长颈鹿看看大麻烟,看看小白兔,于是把大麻烟向身后一扔,　
跟着小白兔在森林中奔跑.　
后来它们遇到一只正在准备吸古柯碱的大象,　
小白兔对大象说:“大象大象,你为什么要做伤害自己的事呢?　
看看这片森林多么美好,让我们一起在大自然中奔跑吧!”　
大象看看古柯碱,看看小白兔,于是把古柯碱向身后一扔,　
跟着小白兔和长颈鹿在森林中奔跑.　
后来它们遇到一只正在准备打viper的狮子,　
小白兔对狮子说:“狮子狮子,你为什么要做伤害自己的事呢?　
看看这片森林多么美好,让我们一起在大自然中奔跑吧!”　
狮子看看针筒,看看小白兔,于是把针筒向身后一扔,　
冲过去把小白兔狠揍了一顿.　
大象和长颈鹿吓得直发抖:”你为什么要打小白兔呢?　
它这么好心,关心我们的健康又叫我们接近大自然.”　
狮子生气地说:”这个混蛋兔子,每次嗑了摇头丸就拉着我　
像白痴一样在森林里乱跑.”



2

一個消化不良的病人向醫生抱怨：我近來很不正常，吃什麼拉什麼，吃黃瓜
拉黃瓜,吃西瓜拉西瓜，怎樣才能恢復正常呢？醫生沉默片刻，那你只能吃屎了。



3

話說在一個夜黑風高的夜晚，就在那條最長，最可怕的路上，計程車司機開過那裏，有個婦人在路旁招手上了車。一路上蠻安靜的，直到那婦人說話了。她對司機說：“蘋果給你吃，很好吃的哦……”司機覺得很棒就拿了，接著吃了一口。那婦人問：“好吃嗎？”司機說：“好吃呀！”婦人又回了一句：“記得我生前也很喜歡吃蘋果啊……”哇……&*$#@……司機一聽到，嚇得緊急x車，面色翻白……只見那婦人慢慢把頭傾到前面，對司機說：“但我在生完小孩後就不喜歡吃了！……”



4

一只大象問駱駝:「你的咪咪怎麼長在背上?」. 駱駝說:「死遠點,我不和雞雞長在臉上的東西講話!」. 蛇在旁邊聽了大象和駱駝的對話後一陣狂笑。 大象扭頭對蛇說：「笑屁！你個臉長在雞雞上的，沒資格！」



5

老大、老二乘坐飞机，老二晕机，不停呕吐。一袋吐满，老大只好去取袋子，等他回来时，发觉全机人都在不停呕吐。老大问其原因老二说：“我看到这只袋子也吐满了，只好又喝进去了半袋，结果他们就全吐了。



6

有一户潘姓人家，长辈过世。
家祭时，请来了一位乡音很重的老先生来当司仪。

讣闻是这么写的：
孝　男：潘根科
孝　媳：池氏
孝孙女：潘良慈
孝　孙：潘道时

但这位老先生老眼昏花又发音不标准。
当他照着讣闻唱名时，凡是字面上有三点水的或左边部首都漏掉没看到。
于是就给他念成这样子：「孝男，翻…… 跟……斗……」
孝男一听，直觉得很奇怪，但又不敢问，于是就翻了一个跟斗。
接着又说：「孝媳，也……是……」
孝媳一听：「我也要翻啊？」于是孝媳也翻了一个跟斗。
再来：「孝孙女，翻两次。」
孝孙女一听，想想爸妈都翻了，我也翻吧！于是就翻了两个跟斗。
此时孝孙心想：「老爸、老妈都各翻一次，姐姐也翻两次，
那么我要翻几次？」心里想着想着就开始紧张了：「怎么办？」

只见老先生扯开喉咙，大声念出：
「孝孙……翻……到……死……」



7

有一天..
甲和乙坐飛機要去玩..D
結果飛機失事
兩人掉到有大批食人族的小島上
猶長說:[你們兩個去找100個同樣的水果來,我就饒你們一命!!
他們兩個就去找了...
甲先帶了100個草莓回來
猶長說:[把他們全部吞進口裡就饒你一命
甲就開始吞...
塞到98個的時候沒有事
可是塞到99個時候他"笑"了(哈哈哈)
結果草莓通通噴出來了...
他就被殺掉了
到了天堂天使問他說:[你差一個就免死,為什麼笑了呢?]


甲說:[因為我看到乙帶了100個榴槤回來]

Where does cabin crew sleep?

Boeing 747-400



KLM




Airbus A340



Boeing 777



Singapore Airline



SQ-with inflight TV and telecommunications



Air Canada








and..........

this????? .!

FUNNY HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION

DON'T KNOW WHICH DOCTOR WROTE THIS, BUT I LIKE HIM!





HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION



Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true ?



A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... Don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer ? Take a nap.





Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables ?





A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat ? Hay and corn. And what are these ? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain ? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable ). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.





Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake ?



A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms u p !





Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio ?



A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.





Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program ?



A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good !





Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you ?



A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING !!!... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you ?



Q: Is chocolate bad for me ?



A: Are you crazy ? HELLO . Cocoa beans ! Another vegetable !!! It's the best feel-good food around !





Q: Is swimming good for your figure ?



A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.







Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.



And remember:





"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming : Woo Hoo, what a ride !

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